cranky
It's been a decent year so far. I passed the first year and did really well on the practical exam. I even managed to do well on the written exam. But everything lately has been driving me bonkers and I feel so insane and stupid about it. Work is nuts; my boss found some random description of my job title and has decided I need to do way more work, not even pausing to consider that I am not only a coordinator and already do a lot more than my role requires. All the students are exhausting and I am not good at compartmentalizing my own emotions and worries from their own. I feel like I am always seen as this immature, emotional little sister instead of a person so I am trying to not talk as much. My closest friend in the program is weird about gay people and keeps emphasizing that she is not homophobic but I still feel weird about it. And she doesn't have many other friends so she vents to me and I just cannot handle being her emotional outlet and her notetaker and listen to her complain about not being able to do anything but then having way more time to do things than me. I just...feel so lonely and I know it's on my shoulders, but talking to everyone I'm close to lately makes me feel like I am insane and weird and stupid and I don't know how to pick myself back up.